Don't Look, Kate Spade

Lately I've been wondering why my left shoulder hurt.

Funny, it's not a piercing pain, just one of those annoying aches that seems to come and go. It's not something I remember until it starts up again, then it's there, like a new blister with high-heeled shoes.

Someone suggested I take a look at my purse.

Purse? Or did you say suitcase?

Now most mothers know that it is simply impossible to carry everything one needs inside those darling little clutches you see at all the fashionable boutiques. For that matter, my wallet is probably bigger than one of those, since it is stuffed with everything from insurance cards to my eyeglass prescription.

But the other day I decided I probably should take a look at what's inside my, ahem, handbag.

For some, the results may be surprising. For others, like those who are traveling on safari, it's no secret I am completely prepared.

But I thought it fun to share a portion of the inventory. As you can see from the picture, my purse might not even meet airline carry-on requirements, but that wouldn't stop me from trying. And lest you think I also carry around my 21-pound cat, don't worry, he just wouldn't get out of the photograph.

So in no important order, here are the contents of my handbag. For organizational purposes, I've divided them into categories:

--First Aid. One package bandaids, several missing. Two bottles hand sanitizer (because you never want to run out). One travel bottle Tylenol. One 80-capsule bottle Advil Gel-Caps (because we all know which pain reliever really works). One damp purse-pack of tissues.

--Vision: Three pair reading glasses, two pair sunglasses. It's true, I can't read a darn thing without those glasses, but I'm always losing them and never want to be without a pair. Oh yes, and one package extra contact lenses.

--Beauty: Four tubes of Chapstick, two tubes lipstick -- one mocha and one Stockdale-for-Congress red. One stick concealer. One emery board. One bottle Revlon snowflake pink nail polish. One 1.5 oz. bottle green tea body mist. Two boxes tic-tacs. Fourteen pieces Trident. One roll Breath-Savers. No jokes, please.

--Child Emergencies: Two Capri Sun drinks, one straw missing. One High School Musical flashlight. One Disney fake plastic cellphone. One package Sponge-Bob bandaids. (They're worth at least 10 minutes of quiet time in a pinch.) Two packages Vienna Creme cookies.

--Campaign: Six Stockdale for Congress buttons, seven pens, one notebook, several dozen campaign cards.

--Misc: I won't divulge how many receipts from Costco, Albertsons and Vons, but suffice to say they salute when I come in. One extra set car keys. Oh, and one more bottle of hand sanitizer, because I never met a germ I really liked.

I'd like to pare down. But surely the very item I remove will be the one I need the most next time I'm desperate. So recently I came up with a new solution, and I think it rather brilliant.

I now carry this amazing little black sling bag into every campaign event. It's sexy, it's slim and it just screams fashionista. It also has practically nothing in it.

But just outside, waiting in the front seat of the car, is my ever-lovin' purse, chock full of all my must-have goodies.

Now that's creative campaigning, don't you think?